Double Your Bar Essay Practice with Essay Cooking (Outlining)

No one starts out being perfect at a skill. For example, cooking involves a bunch of micro-skills you build up over time. Essay writing on the bar exam is a skill also.

It used to be that cooking wasn’t one of my strengths. If you asked me to cook for you, you were risking becoming a permanent resident of the toilet.

There are all these unfamiliar steps involved. Get the right amount of ingredients from outside my cave, handle each tool without creating a zone of danger, and follow an alchemical procedure to put together something that looks edible. I’m not sure if it’s the onions that made me want to cry. And then the worst part—clean it all up after.

Sounds kind of like preparing for essays on the bar exam!

In front of you, a blank canvas ready to be filled but only reflecting a harsh stillness. The cursor blinking at you, urging you for your next order.

It’s confusing, overwhelming, and frustrating in the beginning.

But like anything else, it just takes some buckling down and practice to get better.

And like anything else, there are ways to focus on the biggest levers to make this process more efficient and manageable (especially when you’re in a time crunch with the exam looming).

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Stuck on Where to Begin? 3 Myths to Discard and 3 Systems to Adopt to Improve Your Approach to Studying for the Bar Exam

As we reflect on Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Sexy Saturday (that’s today), some difficult questions in life:

  • How do I get these damn wrinkles out of my dress shirts? (guy problems)
  • Do #nomakeup selfies actually involve makeup? Women, please be honest and tell me the truth (guy problems)
  • Effort doesn’t necessarily bring results. How do I achieve the desired results?

“Generally bad” things can sometimes be good. Normally you don’t want to be dry humped from behind while simultaneously and pumped in the solar plexus by a stranger unless you’re choking or at a middle-school dance (what’s wrong with today’s youth).

Likewise, “generally good” things can be bad for you. Water is like the holy grail of our solar system (have you seen the NASA budget?), but it will kill you if you dip your face in it for a couple minutes.

It’s not about moderation. I hate the phrase “everything in moderation, including moderation” because that basically gives me no guidance. Does it mean it’s OK to do whatever I feel like as long as I don’t do too much of it? Why do I need to moderate? How much is “just enough”? You can’t get any less specific than “moderation.”

Rather, desired results come from doing the right things at the right time. At that point, quantity or moderation matters much less than what, when and how you do something.

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How to Be the Ultimate Sore Loser (to Pass the Bar Exam Next Time)

You see that Schroedinger’s bar results are available, where irreconcilable possibilities coexist as long as you don’t look.

  • “Do I really check right now? Should I leave it alone?”
  • “Do I choose purgatory or risk hell?”
  • “I could just wait until Sunday so I could avoid anxiety / have a relaxing weekend!”

Good luck with that, dude.

You waited for this moment for months, maybe years. You can’t handle the anticipation bursting out of the seams of your heart. You check and find that you…

Did not pass…

How frustrated are you?

If you’re the type who hates to lose, who will struggle like an ugly worm, I can show you how you just might pass next time…

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3 Options If You Failed the Bar

It’s that time of the year again … Bar results are finally out.

What’s the over/under on how many people SAY they’re not going to immediately check their results (“I’m gonna enjoy the weekend and wait for the mail”) but can’t resist when presented with the ultimate choice?

My bet is that you know your result by now.

If you passed the bar –

Congratulations! Bask in your badass glory (tactfully)! February is especially notorious for low passage rates.

You beat the odds, got your black belt, and the real training begins in the “real world” that you put off since taking the LSAT. For now, be proud of yourself and enjoy a well-earned sigh of bittersweet relief.

If you failed the bar –

You are NOT alone. I don’t think that’s all that comforting, though. You still didn’t pass the bar. Damn it!

This is always a bittersweet time for me and you.

Nonetheless, I can’t sugarcoat it forever. The letdown is infectious to everyone around you. You may even have a job or loans that depended on your passing. At this point, a time machine is the only thing that will make you feel better.

Let me tell you: I know failure is fucking terrible because for some reason I haven’t stopped messing up since I was born (including falling on my head at least 4 times). It’s like I have to retry everything at least once. I grew up in Silicon Valley where the motto is to “fail fast.” How about try not to fail?

But you know what… Improvement comes from constant feedback and learning every time you struggle to solve a difficult problem. The disco mosaic of the Rubik’s Cube is still scattered. Keep turning the puzzle until it clicks for you. This is a learnable skill!

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Answering the Call of Nature (Listening to Yourself When Studying for the Bar)

What? Not potty humor again!

Lol no, this is different, although I can probably try to come up with something if you want… or you can just log out if you don’t want to hear it.

You’re pacing around the bathroom avoiding eye contact with yourself and thinking, “Wouldn’t it be crazy if the bar is coming up in just X weeks, but I’m just drained physically, emotionally and spiritually and I don’t want to think about this anymore?”

Or maybe you got into a routine by now and are feeling complacent with how things are going. Either way, your body is trying to tell you something—nature is calling! We weren’t meant to slave over shitty exams for months.

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