What to Do If You Are Retaking the Bar

It’s not your fault.

You waited months. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, you slowly lost your ability to focus on anything. Blood knocking against all corners of your body. You suffered those few seconds of pure agony as you searched for your name on the pass list of truth.

You didn’t even care about celebrating. You would have spent your lifetime of luck to get this hurdle over with.

But then…nothing to show for all your damn effort

It could’ve been anything. Maybe your proctor kept walking by with a weird cough. Maybe you were minesweeping at the test center, surrounded by your 8 neighbors being distractions. Maybe you were running around trying to secure lunch.

The bar shows NO mercy, NO sense. It seems like there is at least a quasi-objective determination of your aptitude, but how did they get your final score? Unemployed graders sitting on their toilet giving your essays whatever score they feel like, that’s what. It’s bullshit.

But this is the game we’re playing.

It’s not your fault, but you can always make preparations to prevent it. They say prevention is the cure.

The very fact that you’re reading this shows me you are determined to change things around. If so, read on to see how you can reposition your inner mindset today for success next time.

If you’re going to pretend that reading this and going “yeah that’s what I should do” before forgetting everything I said will miraculously change anything, then please get off my site and go back to Upworthy to continue your consumption of slacktivism there.

I wish I could make graphics like this

Read on if you are retaking the bar and want to learn how to tweak your attitude before getting back into the game.

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How to Apply Rules with IRAC: It Rubs the Lotion on Its Skin

When I hear the word “apply,” I think of lathering a lotion onto my arm. I can feel my pristine skin doubting whether this inferior substitute for smoothness is going to serve any purpose.

Of course, I’m incapable of shifting my thoughts away from the bar for too long. The nightmare is never over. So I start to think about how the lotion is the rule and my skin is the facts. My skin acquires a flowery smell, maybe even nominal protection from certain forms of ultraviolet light waves. The outcome is a beautiful result, unlike the jumble of facts given by the bar examiners.

On bar week, you’re the away team. When the proctor monotonously instructs you, “It rubs the rules on its facts,” you’d better do just that, lest you be hosed like Brazil in World Cup 2014 (this was relevant at the time of writing). Put away the picture of your loved one. Only death and other serious medical conditions can save you now.

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How Well Should You Be Doing to Feel Secure with Your Progress?

Not having a child has been my greatest contribution to humanity thus far. It’s not that I hate children; not all lights have gone green yet for me to spawn issue.

What do I mean by that? As a law person (Law…yer? Supposedly risk averse), equity trader (hobbyist), and blackjack hobbyist, I try to go through a process, an objective if-this-then-that test, that tells me that certain conditions must be triggered to proceed with a certain action with an acceptable reward/risk. Emotionally deviating from a set approach may mean your bankroll/account/negotiation gets wiped out.

And you can manage your own risk, too, through preparation. Preparation lowers your risk of non-passage. Thank you, Fleet Admiral Obvious! You’re welcome, but have you really thought about how much preparation is needed for an acceptable level of risk? When there are only a couple more weeks to go, the state of the union inevitably seems to turn to “this is awful i wanna die HELP!”

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A candid, no-BS look at bar exam preparation after everyone else has bounced